


no requiem

by queencrank



Series: chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling [2]
Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: M/M, Ralph is fucked up, Simon is patient and soft, Smut but it isn't descriptive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-03 05:22:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10960566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queencrank/pseuds/queencrank
Summary: when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep.Although he'd never admit it, Ralph still had some healing to do after Jack self-destructed. Simon is willing to help him.





	no requiem

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts for literally a month lmao

Although he'd never admit it, Ralph still had some healing to do after Jack self-destructed.

 

As soon as the investigation into the deaths had ended, Ralph's mother had wanted to leave. But Ralph couldn't do that to Simon. Especially not Charlie, when he had just gotten out of his casts. Jack's father had left, seemingly unfazed as he lost yet another loved one to what he does. Roger did too, and several other students. Turns out that having a student murder three other students then blow himself up on the school's front lawn wasn't the best for its reputation.

 

Even though he refused to leave, Ralph finds that he regrets it, in a way. There were memorials for Maurice and Sam and Eric, up in the front hall. He had to pass them every day, just like he had to pass the black mark on the wall outside of the school. Jack's own memorial, in a way. Every time he looks at it, the memory of the smell of burning grass and gasoline, the taste of burning flesh, threatens to choke him. Ralph has stopped looking at it.

 

Although he'd never admit it, Ralph still wakes up from nightmares each night.

 

Nightmares of pulling that trigger in the forest, and again in the boiler room - he still wasn't sure who actually pulled it in the middle of that struggle, but that didn't matter - of all three of them standing over him, Maurice with his teeth permanently stained blue and hacking, the twins with their empty holes in their chests. Of Jack's sad smile, before he detonated, leaving behind nothing but a smoking crater and Ralph to deal with his mess.

Tonight, he wakes up when the redhead's words echo through his mind, and his cheeks are wet. _You're good enough_. He blinks in the dark, unfamiliar room, looking around in scared confusion, then remembers that he was spending the night at Simon's. The darker boy sleeps within arm's reach of him, snoring softly. Ralph wipes his cheeks. 

'Si,' His whisper seems to boom off the walls, 'You up?' There's the sound of the sleeping bag shifting, then a groan.

'I am now. You okay?'

'Yeah.' It must be something in his voice, because Simon is pulling the zipper of his sleeping bag down, and standing.

'Move over.' He whispers, undoing Ralph's zipper too. He climbs in and zips himself in.

'What was it tonight?'

'Him.' Ralph still can't say his name out loud, but Simon knows. He presses close, wraps his arms around him.

'Wanna talk about it? About him?' Ralph leans his cheek into Simon's hair and shakes his head. A short silence occurs, then Simon takes a breath, and continues. 'You don't have to think about it, y'know.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean... There are other things we can do, other than talk.' Ralph swallows, looks into the darkness in his direction. If this was what he was thinking it was, he wasn't new to this sort of thing with Simon. He would talk him down from night terrors, replace the slide of Jack's chapped lips with his own softer ones, pressing to wherever Ralph told him he had touched. It was only ever that, wiping away tears and kissing away ghosts, even if both of those always came back. Simon shifts against his side, slides his nose along his jaw. The action is so similiar to things Jack would do, and his breath catches in a quiet sob.

'You've already done that.' He whispers, voice thick, and Simon hums.

'We could go further. If you want. I can do more than kiss you, to make you forget.' It's Ralph's turn to swallow, and the back of Simon's hand smooths over his cheek. 'You don't have to do this alone. I can help.'

 

Although he'd never admit it, Ralph needed help. He'd never admit to a lot of things, never open up to more, he's willing to allow Simon to give him that help. 

 

They've squirmed out of the sleeping bag and out of their pyjamas. Simon's hand is barely on Ralph's thigh when he chokes.

'Turn on the light.' He whispers urgently, panic swelling in his chest. Immediately, Simon leans up and flicks on his lamp, and Ralph sighs in relief. 'Sorry. I just needed to...'

'No need to apologize, Ralph. I get it.' Again, Simon smooths the back of his hand down his cheek, then brushes his hair back from his face, smiling.

'You don't need to stay up for me.' He mumbles, dropping his gaze. Simon hums, running his thumb over his lips.

'Can I kiss you?' He whispers in response, and Ralph nods, closing his eyes. Simon's lips are soft on his, yielding and guiding all at once. He doesn't take anything that Ralph doesn't give him, but what he does with the things he does are almost enough to get Ralph to drop his guard. Almost. His hand pushes through his hair, then cups the back of his head, gently pulling him up.

'Can I touch you?' He murmurs into the kiss, and Ralph nods again, gripping his arm like his life depended on it. His hand circles him, and he gasps, the sound needy and desperate and breaking at the end into a soft whimper. Simon breaks the kiss to look between them, smiling as he looks back to him.

'You're beautiful, Ralph.' He murmurs, cupping his cheek.

'Simon,'

'You are. So beautiful. So good.' His thumb rubs over his cheekbone as he does something with his hand that makes Ralph lurch into him with a broken sob.

'Don't... Don't say that.' He whimpers, hand tight over his wrist.

'Why?'

'I'm not good.' You're worth it. Jack was always a liar - why would he tell the truth about that?

'Yes you are,' Simon whispers back, kissing his cheek, 'You're so good,' He kisses his jaw, 'And so kind,' Then his chin, 'And forgiving,' He covers his face with soft kisses and continues on, moving his hand slowly, until Ralph peaks and crumbles into his hand, whimpering and grabbing at his forearm. Simon kisses along his jaw as he brings him down, murmuring more praise into his skin. Ralph leans his forehead to his shoulder and tugs him down closer, closing his eyes.

'Thank you. I could... I could do it for you.' His hand is already brushing over him, and Simon smiles into his hair, kisses his ear and pushes his hand away.

'Don't. This was for you.' Ralph pushes his face into his hair and whimpers, wrapping his arms over his back.

'You sure?' His voice is small when he asks. Simon hums and nods an affirmative, pulling him up.

'C'mon, Ralph. Come to bed.' Ralph allows him to pull him to feet then into his bed. Simon cradles his head and wraps him up in his arms, kissing along his temple as he whispers sweet nothings into his hair, rubbing his back soothingly.

 

Although he'd never admit it, Ralph still had some healing to do after Jack self-destructed. But Simon is willing to help him with that healing.


End file.
